This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
