i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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