Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
