I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
