Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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