you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
