I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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