Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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