and my herpes radar will keep us safe
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
