nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
