if you like me you must not know who I am
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
