If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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