The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
