I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
