best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
