So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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