dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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