A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
