I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
