i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
