We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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