I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
