Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
