i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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