buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
