Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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