Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
