...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
