Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
