Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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