when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
