so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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