a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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