her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We left the knife in your bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
