Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
