i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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