But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
