I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Someone shattered a urinal.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Bring me that man meat
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
