her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
