Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
why is half of my head shaved?
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