So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
