found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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