so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
