I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
