i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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