It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
