Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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