Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
