First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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