I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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